he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize