if only i could text you this smell
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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