Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
