Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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