It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
