she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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