Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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