bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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