you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
