did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
