wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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