If i come over, it means nothing
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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