which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize