forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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