OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
