So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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