Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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