It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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