I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
