I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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