i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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