You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
