She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
