i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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