I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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