**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
