I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
