i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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