Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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