I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
