Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
