I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
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I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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