ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
