I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
