I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
