My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
