They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
