At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
