Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So many bounce houses so little time
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
