he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
