he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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