Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
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I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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