I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
