Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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