dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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