Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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