idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I want is dick and wine.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
