I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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