i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
worst night to have a conscience
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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