I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
