im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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