It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
