I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
