Plan B is the new Plan A
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
