hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
