for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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