I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
