I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
