don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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