I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
