You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
