is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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