It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize